It Burns, It Burns

"It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair." -- George Burns

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When the USA elected George Bush Jr. as President of the USA instead of Al Gore I was a little surprised. The most surprising thing were the reasons. People thought Al Gore was an ineffectual incompetent chosen by Clinton to stay out of the way and not touch anything.

That was a pretty good summation. I think he would have made a distastrous president. But of course there are regular disasters and then there is George Bush Jr... who can repeatedly spawn ten new disasters out of a single normal disaster. It's like the guy is trying to do everything possible to fuck things up. I mean... attack Iraq? What was he thinking? Can anyone is retrospect think of a worse idea? What the fuck was the reason? Oh yeah... there was none. Thanks to W we are now a nation of uncaring human butchers no better than the terrorists we purport to be against. Nice one.

I didn't vote for either of them. I voted for the guy with the only track record of actually caring about people and trying to help them (even if sometimes for the wrong reason)- Ralph Nader.

Why? Well even though I was on a lot of drugs at the time, I knew Bush was basically a frat boy fan boy fair weather friend rich kid loser male cheerleader type.

I though Gore would win by a landslide and Ralph would get 5% of the vote and thus the Green Party would get federal matching funds and thus become a real party capable of truly swinging an election towards the best candidate.

But as I said I was on drugs and living in the most liberal part of one of the most liberal cities in America. My beloved Capital Hill of Seattle. In Capital Hill there are equal amounts of millionaires, rock stars, homeless people, gay people, and vegetarians. And they are often the same people.

So being in this place I totally forgot about the fumb ducking average Joe American who couldn't find his own ass with two hands and a flashlight. And thus George Bush was elected the forty fifth President of the United States and the wondrous Billy Clinton moved to Harlem and became a pimp.

And I was one of the lucky ones. Five days after 9/11 I managed to escape the country in a hot air balloon and kindly Gulf Stream winds took me to Europe where I intend to live for the rest of my life.

My advice to Americans still there is to wake up, impeach Bush, and then throw his dumb ass in jail. Maybe then I'll come back for a visit and buy a flag. George Burns would have made a better President. And he's been dead for years.