Bowling Blogging is Funny

I have been at work for a few months now as an web consultant in downtown Stockholm. Basically they need a webmaster guru to build a gambling website as quickly as possible and that is me. I am being paid pretty well for this and it is both fun and challenging. It's about $75 per hour and I can work 40 plus hours so it's pretty great... because otherwise if I were at home I would basically be doing the same thing for a fourth of that.

One of the perks of this place is that everyone works with headphones on and there is a whole i-Tunes network full of free music. Everything from Jose Gonzales (the strangely named Swede) to Kaiser Chiefs to AC/DC. I admit that coding goes rather well with harder music, so I have been listening to a lot more Metallica and Rage Against the Machine than I normally would. Heavy metal is really funny. It's like a a grown man with the IQ and taste of a 13 year old from rural Ohio. And I don't mean 'funny' in the way that most Swedes use the word, such as:

"Bowling is funny."

"Why?"

"Because I like it."

"No, bowling shoes are funny. Bowling is fun," I say.

"What?" they say.

France's Chirac is Out of Whack

I am an American who loves France. I love the language, the music, the food, the people, the art, the architecture, the atheism, just about everything.

But France is sick right now. There are riots in the streets, there is increasing poverty, and there is a growing feeling of despondancy. I haven't been there in a couple years, mostly because of my growing love for London, but also because it does quite feel 'the same' as it did when I lived there in the 90's.

Why? Well there is frustration in the air. And when people feel frustrated they grow desperate, and when they are desperate they act irrationally. And since French people are not as a whole that much smarter than other people, they tend to vote for dumbasses. And I know a thing or two about people voting for dumbasses. My President's middle initial stands for Dumbass.

Mr. Chirac, you are not as bad as Bush, and you did a wonderful job as Mayor of Paris when I lived there. But you need to go. Now. Resign. Isn't it obvious you are hated? The whole country is falling apart.

As a fiscal conservative, I feel that your idea of being able to fire people for the first two years of work is a good idea. No company is ever going to hire somebody they cannot fire. That's what the government jobs are for. Losers. Private business has to be competitive and forcing companies to retain people will only make them leave France for good.

But as a social liberal I feel you have nothing to offer. You have not instituted any much needed affirmative action policies and you are doing nothing for the people who need it the most. The immigrants in France have no identity and no hope and that has to end. And you are not the solution to the problem. You are part of it. You could say, "I hate EuroDisney", right now and the youth would still get upset.

Basically, it's time to make like Gerard and Depardieu the hell out of there. If you love France as much as you say you do then you would understand.

Oh Yeah

Today is the Greek God of Smoking's birthday and tomorrow is lovely Linda's birthday. So obviously there is going to be some serious puking going on tonight.

Happy Swedish Anniversary

Leaving American soil has always been one of the great pleasures in my life. I feel the whole country is based on a shared hallucination of madmen. I am pretty sure I would feel the same about any country I grew up in. I hate the feeling of culture dragging me down to my slow spiritual death. That's why to stay fresh you have to move.

I have never understood religious people and people who keep the customs of their ancestors. These people deserver to be mocked. If doing drugs is illegal then so should be ethnic folk dancing. If you think about while high it will make sense.

Well it's been almost a year in Sweden for me and Linda. Moving to another country is never easy and never cheap. It is however extremely fun and exciting, and that's why I do it so often. I have lived in four countries for more than a year and hopefully I'm just warming up.

What America lacks in an educated voting population it more than makes up for in great pizza, entertainingly bad media, and creme donuts. In short, the USA is a great place to visit but you wouldn't want to live there. The same is true for England which I also lived in for a year. Basically living in a country where you speak the language is a real downer. It's harder to hate what you cannot fully comprehend.

Yes after one year in Sweden I have the (very) basics of the language down, a job I like, good friends, and I know where all the best pubs are. What remains is to find a better flat and find a tennis partner so I can get back into that sport I love. Oh yeah and some positive temperature outside would be a nice change. Right now it's sunny and freezing. I like it warm and partly cloudy.

Sex Drugs and Rock'n'Roll Never Goes Out of Style

My best mate of all time (especially when I'm here and he's on the other side of the Atlantic), McCutcheon, has recently released a book of short stories from the Pax Acidus web site called aptly enough, Sex, Drugs, & Rock'n'Roll Never Goes out of Style. It is available from Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk. I highly urge everyone who loves to read and laugh to get a copy.

We have been through a lot together... the highs and lows of traveling Europe and North America together: the bars, pills, powders, raves, afterparties, concerts, border guards, group sex, hospitals, rehab centers, death, psychiatrists, and that sort of thing.

Buy one for yourself and all your friends. And if you are in the publishing business and looking for a promising literary drunk there is probably no finer on you will come upon (no pun intended).

Europe Buy Link: Sex, Drugs & Rock'n'Roll...

America Buy Link: Sex, Drugs & Rock'n'Roll...