Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Club an American Today!

Now normally I wouldn't do cheesy things like join an American Club abroad. I mean, I don't really like America that much, and I did leave it behind... so why travel 8,000 miles away and then pay $30 a year in dues to surround yourself with a bunch of Americans again?

Well many reasons, the first of course being jobs. Not blow jobs, mind you, but the regular kind. As a freelancer you need contacts. Because contacts means money. Networking is new to me, but all it really means is drinking, eating greasy food, and trying to make each other money. That's not so bad. I can do that.

Secondly, after living in Sweden now for six months I do miss hearing English. Of course I hear foreigners speaking English... first and foremost Swedish English and second most the other eurotrash English dialects, and then British English (who technically aren't foreign English speakers by the way), but now and again a bit of American twang really soothes the soul. And all Americans do have twang, not just the southeners. Although they definitely have the most twang. By far. Like the banjo in Deliverance.

Thirdly, if that's a word at all, Swedes all speak English... but they don't really LIKE to speak English in Sweden. They like to speak Swedish in Sweden. So to them it's always a bit of a chore to get them to speak with you. Some don't like it when they are at a party and you come up to them (normally drunk) and start speaking English. Some Swedes are hesitant to begin speaking, and then once they get started they never shut up. Some of course can speak in moderation, and those people are my friends. I need friends, man. No man is an island. I forget who said that but he was right on.

Fourthly, Americans living abroad, that is, expatriate Americans, are the best Americans there are. To me, the fact that George Bush had never left the country before being President (besides of course whoring in Mexico) and Hemingway lived 20 years abroad says a lot. Who would you want to hang out with? Hemingway or George Bush? Maybe neither, but given a choice I'd take Papa Hem. I like my dysfunctional suicidal alcoholics literary.

Fifthly and lastly, The American Club of Sweden not only has casual bowling nights, pub nights, chocolate tastings, and business meetings... but also two or three black tie events per year which gives you a chance to go out and meet other crazy, neurotic people like yourself, drink champagne and smoke cigars... and try to find work contracts. I got three so far, not bad for Fall in Sweden.

So if you're a yank in Stockholm, or a Swede who did time in America, check out the new website, American Club of Sweden. At 200 Kronors per year to join, it's cheaper than beer and wings at most American restaurants here.


Anonymous said...

John Donne is the island man you are looking for (it's in the preface to 'for whom the bell tolls' if you want to look it up.

funny that, i was out networking clubbed americans last night, too :)

Sloth said...

See, everybody's doing it!

Curiosa said...

hej, are you a fellow american in sweden? whereabouts?