Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Indubitably London

That's me, Slothlock Stockholmes, in 221b Baker Street sitting by the fire in my Deerstalker hat and smoking a pipe at the Sherlock Holmes museum. For legal reasons, of course, you can't see the hyperdermic for my daily cocaine injections. When in Rome, do as the Romans I say. Whenever it works to my advantage, anyway.

Seriously, London is probably the biggest and best major city I've ever seen. I say this a lot but its really true. Really, it's as cool as Paris, only much bigger. No city I've ever seen can match its size, diversity, character, and style. The more I go there the more I like it. If you add together all the time from my different trips there, I've spent over two years of my life in London! And every time I go back I check out something different and maybe redo one or two things as well.

As I get older I love museums more and more. Why do people even take kids to museums? Even non-sentient Republican mouthpiece Condoleeza Recently agrees that torture is a bad idea in theory if not practice (healthy doses of hairy man ass notwithstanding).

But surely children are not a threat to national security. They should not be tortured by museum visits unless there are at least two dinosaurs for every Renaissance painting. I'd like to see that in the next Geneva Convention really, but I digress.

This trip I saw the Royal Observatory in Greenwich, the Museum of London in the Barbican, The Sherlock Holmes Museum on Baker Street, a kickass Edward Munch exhibition at the Royal Academy of the Arts, the Tate Britain for the third time, and probably a few others I can't remember because I was too hungover.

My mate Dafydd kindly took me to five new places in six hours inclduding Foyles Bookstore, 2 Victorian pubs, a pan-Asian restaurant, and the 12 Bar Club to see a very intimate (not to mention drunken) evening of Welsh pop music with Euros Childs ex of Gorky's Zygotic Mynci.

The rest of the time I spent in the pubs eating healthy british food like mince pies, fish and chips, and unfortunately on my last day whitebait in Greenich for a final farewell pub visit with Svenja and friends. Whitebait, for those who don't know, is whole deep fried baby herring. It may be okay in very small doses, but a whole plate of it for lunch on an empty stomach is not a good idea. I was burping up this crap for the rest of the day and I kept thinking about all the little fish heads and tails and I was thought I was going to hurl a river of ale and little fishes all over the airplane.

And finally, I just want to thank the people of Britain for making London so cool. You are certainly not as bad as the rest of the world say you are.


Svenja said...

Sorry about the fish, darling :) You did put on a very brave face about them though - and we will never forget. XOX.

myke said...

please move to london so i'll have a place to crash and get drunk at. i think the weather would fight a bit better than that of sweden.