Sunday, March 25, 2007

Swedish Doctors Can Take a Long Walk Off a Short Fjord

This is a big ass, and so is my Swedish doctor, whose name last name happens to be Wanky (which is not what I was in danger of doing after looking at this picture). I've been sick with an earache and after taking my 140 SEK he looks in my ear for 10 seconds and tells me there is nothing wrong with me. It gets worse so I go back and (after paying another 140 SEK) tell him half my head is numb and I can't close my mouth.

He tells me everything is okay and I don't need antibiotics. I protest and he asks me if I want anything for the pain. I say yes. I do not have a high tolerance for pain. I did spend my 20's on ecstasy and valium, after all. He gives me ear drops that make my head feel like a watermelon and the pain gets worse all week until I stop taking them.

If Herr Wanky ever needs his computer fixed I am gonna throw it down the stairs and tell him to send the bill to the estate of Olaf Palme for brainwashing Swedes into thinking socialism is a Good Thing (tm).

In conclusion, socialized medicine is only good if you can't afford capitalist medicine.

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